Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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