you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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