try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
