And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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