So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
