Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
