either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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