he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
