I only kidnapped one of them. chill
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Randomize
