I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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