WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
