Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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