I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
