You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
