I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize