Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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