Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
you never un-have a 4some
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
