I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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