Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
literally had 100 drinks last night.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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