I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
