Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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