Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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