Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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