I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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