does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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