I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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