Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
