oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
