you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
And the cops told us we were all naked.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
