A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
