his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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