dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
