We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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