I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
