I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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