I skipped work to stalk him.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
