The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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