Is it normal to miss your booty call?
thus making me awesome and them whores
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
