I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
