i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
40s are totally the cure
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
