fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
