Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
