Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
They took my balls.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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