maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
