hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
