seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
