I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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