im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
