sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
