Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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